Announcing... Buzz!!!

There is something that has been on my mind lately. In fact, despite holidays and thesis writing, it's been the biggest thing on my mind. I have been hesitant to discuss it for reasons that will seem obvious in a minute, but I am feeling more comfortable now, and I'm (literally) bursting at the seems to share!

That little white ball of joy is the first picture of future baby Collins, whom we affectionately refer to as Buzz! (More on that later!) That ultrasound was on December 2, 2011and Buzz was 8 weeks and 2 days along. At that point, Buzz was still considered an embryo the size of a kidney bean, with webbed fingers and toes.

The coolest thing about the ultrasound was that we got to see the heart beat! It was this tiny little flutter on the screen and it was one of the most reassuring things I have ever seen in my life. See, something scary that most people don't realize is that miscarriages are pretty common. Frighteningly common, actually. According to What to Expect When You're Expecting, an estimated 40% of conceptions end in miscarriage, but a lot of them go undocumented because they happen early on, so the woman just assumes it was a late period. Miscarriages seem more prevalent now though, because at-home pregnancy tests can be used as early as a couple of days before your missed period, so women know they are pregnant sooner than ever before.

Finding out...
We found out super early as well- we decided to start trying in September, but October came and went and so did my period. I was a bit worried because it took my parents quite a while- years, actually- to get pregnant with me. We decided to give it another go, but not to try "too hard"... like, no counting days until ovulation or taking my temperature on a daily basis (turns out your basal body temperature is at it's lowest during ovulation and then it spikes after ovulation, so if you track this by taking your temperature first thing in the morning everyday, you should start to notice a pattern). Well, wouldn't you know it, November rolled around and my period was two days late. My period is NEVER late.

I decided to pick up a pregnancy test on my way home from work on November 3rd. I had never bought one before and had no idea what to look for, so I just picked one that didn't look too cheap, but didn't cost an arm and a leg either. I wouldn't say that I was in denial, but I would definitely say that I wasn't holding my breath at this point.

I got home, opened the package, read the directions, and peed on that baby. Then I had to wait 3 minutes. People always say those 3 minutes are the longest of your life. Not so much for me. I was trying not to get my hopes up. I went upstairs and changed my clothes. Played with Kevin for a minute. And then time was up.

When I looked at the stick, this is what I saw:

2 lines = preggo, 1 line = not

WTF does that mean?? Can you even see that second line?? It was so freaking faint, and I had no idea what it meant. Pregnant or not? Were our lives about to change forever, or remain the same for at least another month?

So the next 3 minutes, while I scrambled around on the internet, were the longest 3 minutes of my life! After reading about other women's similar stories and learning all about evaporation lines, it became clear that if the test is read within a timely manner- not hours later, any second line "counts." It doesn't matter how faint, if there is a second line in that stick, the pregnancy hormone is in your body and you have a bun in the oven.


Telling Brian...

Brian was still at work, so after I had done my research Google search, I did a little dance with Kevin. We think he knew before we did. The weekend before was Halloween, and that whole weekend we noticed he was really clingy with me. Like, we had friends over that Saturday night to watch scary movies and while he's usually a social butterfly, that night he cuddled up next to me and slept with his head on my belly the whole time. He's been doing the same thing ever since. We're pretty certain he is going to be a great big brother.

Since I was at home with the dog for about an hour before Brian was due home that night, I was trying to think of a creative way to announce the news. One of his favorite shows is The Office, so back when we first started talking about getting pregnant, I wanted to get him a mug like Michael Scott's but have it say World's Best Dad.

Well, I hadn't planned that out far enough in advance, and I couldn't wait to tell him, so that wasn't happening. Instead, I found an old white shirt, grabbed some sharpies, wrote Big Brother on the back, and tossed it on the dog:

He kind of reminds me of a race horse. :)

Anyway, when Brian walked in the door, Kevin greeted him. It took Brian a minute to read the shirt, and then register what it said, but once it clicked, I was able to capture his reaction with my iphone:

Happy Dad-to-be!

More celebrating ensued!

But as you probably noticed, 2 days after a missed period is extremely early to be finding out... and I was nervous. So many things could go wrong and I was very paranoid. I called the next morning to make a doctors appointment. They had me come in the next Monday where I took another positive test, filled out some paperwork, and we were on our way!

Telling Everyone Else...
Telling other people has been tricky. I told my mom right away because we go to the gym every morning, and I wanted her to be aware in case something went wrong or she had any motherly advice. She was glad I told her, but also nervous about how early it was in the pregnancy. Brian told his mom and sister within that first week. Then we had to tell my friend Alexis because we were going on a cruise for her birthday. On the cruise, we had to tell our other friends Erin and Jordan, because it's kind of suspicious when you're on a cruise, but you won't drink, you won't go into the jacuzzi, and you're not able to eat much of the all-you-can-eat food that's being offered.

We decided to tell the dads once we got back from the trip. Brian got his dad an "I love my grandpa" bib and I got my dad a Dodgers bib (as an inside joke- I hate the Dodgers but he loves them and has always said that when he babysits for me, my kids will be dressed in Dodger gear when I come to pick them up). We gave them these gifts under the pretense that they were souvenirs from the cruise. They were a little confused at first, but then my dad looks up at me and says, "Really??" It was cute and all of the grandparents are officially excited. Slowly, word is getting out. Soon, we told my brother and his girlfriend. We had to tell our friend Mike because I would no longer be playing football. We told some family members at Thanksgiving. Then we told Kevin and Rachael. Then I had to tell the ladies in my office because there was some bug spraying and bleaching going on that I just didn't want to be around. Oh and most recently, I told some of my softball girls so they could help me out a little more in class with the physical stuff.
Telling Work...
We have yet to make an official announcement. Like, nothing on Facebook. I haven't told work yet. As of today, It's only been 10 weeks and 4 days, so it's still relatively early on. I'm planning on telling work when I get back from winter break, just to keep it simple. Plus by then, I'll officially be going into my 2nd trimester, where the risks of miscarriage drop significantly (yes, I'm still very nervous/paranoid about it). And I'll put it out there on Facebook after work knows. Because, ya know, nothing is actually official until it's on Facebook. With that being said, if you're one of my Facebook friends and you're reading this, I'm thrilled that you're here, but please, please don't say anything on there just yet. ThankyouIloveyou!

How I'm feeling...
So far, I feel like I'm pretty lucky, because compared to some of the horror stories I've read, this pregnancy has seemed relatively easy. I have felt a little nauseous from time to time, but I haven't actually thrown up. I can't eat as much as usual and I've only gained like 0-1.5 pounds, but that varies depending on the day. What's funny about that though, is that I feel extremely bloated and it is really uncomfortable to wear my jeans. I've been living in sweats, jeggings, and dresses. I'm t-i-r-e-d and I keep falling asleep on the couch before 7:30. And I'm occasionally crabby- Brian gets the brunt of that, but he's taking it like a champ. I love him so much.

I get a little bit bummed sometimes because I can't do much of what I did before- namely playing football and softball. Those are actually the 2 contact sports that I found listed in the "activites you should not participate in" list. I would love to be able to go sit in the jacuzzi for a little bit, but that's a no-no. I also have been staying away from deli meat, sushi, coffee and (mostly) diet coke. Definitely staying away from alcohol, but that's never been an issue for me.

It's not all woe-is-me though. I've still been having a lot of fun:

We went on a cruise for Alexis' b-day

Vegas for Brian's b-day

Disneyland- just for fun!

Each experience was different than it would have been had I not been pregnant, but each was still fun and I am THRILLED, so the happiness we're feeling far outweighs missing out on Space Mountain or Margaritaville.
We've been taking weekly pictures. Here they are so far:

I'm maybe a little bit bigger, but I've always had a little tummy pooch, so nothing too exciting there yet. Buzz is growing though- this week, he is the size of a kumquat.

Brian thinks that's still pretty small, but seeing as it's growing inside of me I happen to think it's pretty big. This week, Buzz graduated from an embryo to a fetus, no more webbing in the phalanges, teeth are forming, arms are moving (but I won't be able to feel it til month four or five), and the features are started to look more human and less alien! Oh and my uterus began as the size of a small pear and is now the size of a grapefruit. No wonder the jeans are feeling tight.

Why Buzz?...
So if you've read this far and haven't yet thought to yourself, 'WTF are they calling this poor fetus Buzz?' then I am impressed, and you should reward yourself. Because it does seem pretty silly. Well, here's the story behind the name...

A while ago- it might have even been before the wedding- we were on a long drive and just happened to start talking about baby names and how silly some most of them are now. I joked that dogs have more normal human names (hel-lo, Kevin!) and that babies have silly dog names. I told Brian we need to come up with some goofy names when we have kids. Light bulb moment!!!- I announced we should name our kids after Disney characters and I asked Brian who his favorite character is. He answered Buzz Lightyear. I screamed out in joy, "Buzz Collins!!! That is the best name ever!!!" Brian strongly disagreed, claiming it sounded like a white trash name. Ever since, it has been a long running joke that we are going to name our baby Buzz. Well, I joke. Brian does not think it's funny at all. Once we found out we were pregnant, I started calling this baby Buzz whenever I would refer to it to Brian. In all honesty, I would never actually name my child Buzz, but in this case, until we know the sex and can actually pick a name, Buzz works. Brian has even warmed up to the nickname, so for now, Buzz it is! Many, many updates to follow!

Fill in the Blank Friday

Because I'm short on time but not quite ready to sit down and crank out some work: 

 

1.   My favorite thing about this week was/is   how fast it went by! I love that it's already Friday!

2.   Colder weather makes me want to snuggle up under a blanket and read a good book  .

3.  Three things that make me terribly happy as of late are    my little family, quality time working out with my mom, and Netflix   .

4. If I could only wear one kind of shoe for the rest of my life, I'd choose    flip flops, all the way  .

5.  My personality type is    I took this test and I'm an ENFJ... it says I can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously... hmmm...

6.  I have a serious problem resisting     chocolate. Like, for real. Halloween is my enemy.

7.  My favorite color to wear is    yellow! Although it's not very slimming... so black! :)

Thesis...

I don't wanna...

Uggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

Kevin goes shopping

I went to step class with my mom this morning and I made it through the whole class and my knee felt fine! It was the first time I haven't had to worry about it in two weeks. It feels good to be back to normal!

After class I got some coffee with the mother and we had a nice, relaxing time. I asked her if she wanted to help me find a costume for Kevin and the pooch parade I want to do next weekend at Howl-O-Ween but she couldn't because her and my dad have to run some errands today. Then I made the mistake of telling her that I made that preliminary thesis appointment. Oh boy. I got the lecture of the century.

"How can you even think about entering your dog in a parade when you need to be writing. You shouldn't be doing anything else for the next two weeks until you get that thesis done. This isn't some high school paper that you can write in one night..."

And so on.
Whoops. I assured her that I will get it done, and that I don't need to be working on it 24/7. Luckily she dropped it, but I don't think that's the last I'll hear.

Anyway, when I got home, I decided Kevin and I should go find him something, so off we went. This dog loves riding in the car. It's actually when he's the most well-behaved.

Into Pet Co we went. Aside from a pooping incident, the shopping excursion went well!

The goods:

Some raw hide bones, balls of all shapes and sizes, a little meat stick that the checker threw in for him (there are perks to being cute, I guess), and a rain coat.
Now, we don't need the rain coat yet- it's cloudless and about 80* today:

But we've talked about it before and as we head into fall, I know this is going to come in handy. Kevin loves being outside and he loves water. Rainy days are not fun for the humans in this house...
Anyway, we practiced playing fetch and Kevin was very pleased with his toys.

And now he looks like this:

That is what success looks like!

Did you notice we didn't get a costume? They didn't have a very big selection. There was a devil costume that would fit him, so I decided to keep it in mind. But then when I came home I started watching Problem Child on Netflix (my brother and I used to watch that movie all the time when we were little) and I was reminded about this little guy:

Devil costume, out. I thought with the new rain coat, he could be the man in the yellow hat and I could be Curious George

See the resemblance?

But how am I going to make a yellow hat? Better yet, would he even were a yellow hat? Probably not.

I have another idea up my sleeve... Let you know if it works!
To be continued...

And the award goes to...

ME!!!

What award, you ask?

Why, it's for something that I am better at than anyone else. I can confidently say that I am extremely proficient in this matter. I truly believe no one else is better than I am at this particular skill.

I can, wait for it...

Procrastinate better. Than anyone. In the world universe.

It's a skill that I've honed over many years filled with long nights, early mornings, cramped typing fingers, and puffy bags under my eyes. 

I've always gotten good grades- mostly A's with a couple of B's sprinkled in here and there- but I've never been a particularly good student. Things have always come easy for me. I can take a test and ace it without studying. I can write a solid book report without ever having read the book. I'm pretty sure I don't remember anything I learned in high school.

I got a little bit better in college. Just a little. But once I entered graduate school, all bets were off. I'll give myself this- I've been working full time and coaching year round the entire time I've been in graduate school. My free time was precious, so I reached the peak of my talent in grad school.

I thought I had peaked when I had to write a paper for my Sport Psych class that I didn't even start until 9:00 pm the night before it was due. (America's Next Top Model was on, so sue me!) Now I'm pretty sure my record is when I didn't even start a take home final for my Sport Nutrition until 4:00 am the morning it was due. That one was Brian's fault- it was when we first met and we were talking on the phone until like 2:00 or something... and I needed to get a couple hours of sleep. I may be breaking this record soon. And on a whole new level.

I put off my last semester (the thesis writing semester) because I had things that I felt were higher on my priority list. Like getting married. But in the meantime, tuition is going up (like, more than doubled since I started my degree) and I want this off my mind to move up on the pay scale. It's now or never.

So a year since I last picked up any of my research and I'm finally in my last semester of this dang program, totally lost on where I left off. I've been trying to get organized so I can in turn get to writing. But as we're heading closer to the end of October and I've done close to nothing towards completion, I felt today was the day I needed to light a fire under my own butt.

I tried emailing my advisers to get some kind of direction, but that of course didn't help anything. So I looked at the website to find that I need to make an appointment for something called a Thesis Preliminary Formatting. WTF is this and why has nobody mentioned it to me before??? I have until November 18th to complete this. Freakin' fabulous.

So I call the number they give and reach a very nice and helpful lady who helped me make an appointment and gave me clear guidelines on what I would need to have ready for that date. A stranger, with nothing invested in me or my education, helped me in less than 5 minutes. The people who are supposed to be helping me are vague and anti-helpful. 

Anyway, when the nice lady asked what date I had in mind, I decided to do it on November 7th. That's like, 2 weeks away. 17 days, to be exact. I picked that date because I have some pretty exciting things going on in November and I want to just enjoy them stress-free.

Oh, and by the time I go to this appointment, I'm supposed to have my thesis written. Like, finished and ready for final corrections. Hmmmphghsahjvcalasoichoivco.

So my dining room table currently looks like this:

  The carrots are for Kevin. I prefer chocolate.

Coffee might be my savior for the next couple of weeks. Basically, I'm combining 3 years of research and classes and articles and literature reviews and power points into the longest paper of my life in two weeks. And obviously, I've currently pushed all of that to the side while I write this. (Procrastination at it's finest! Because Facebook is so 2010.)

The anxiety makes my skin crawl. I apologize in advance to anyone I come across in the next 2 weeks because my bitchiness may go off the scale.

********************************************

On a lighter note, BFF/Maid of Honor Alexis got me a pretty rad birthday gift.

Isn't that the cutest?? I was so excited when I opened it. I wanted to hang it in the perfect spot. I was thinking here:

because it's the first thing you see when you walk through the front door. Unfortunately, it was too tall to fit there, so it settled into a spot over the front door.

I love it. It makes me smile every time I see it! Thank you Alexis!

Off to go write while the husband watches Thor cuddle with Brian and Kevin while we watch Thor together!

Meatballs with a Side of Catch Up

Sooooooooo....

It's been exactly a month since my last post. Bad, bad blogger. But there has been good reason for my absence. Full time work, softball tryouts, thesis writing er, planning, camping, MY BIRTHDAY, and some laundry sprinkled in here and there has made my days plenty full. I'm making a come back today though... Here's what's been going on:

I'm trying to cook more often and eat healthier. It doesn't seem like it should be so difficult, but I'm away from the house from 5:45 am to 5:30ish pm right now and by the time I get home, I just want to sit down and relax. But one of my goals is to be the best wife and healthiest person I can be. So I attempted to make spaghetti and homemade turkey meatballs. This is what my meatballs looked like pre-oven:

 See the sogginess? Yeah. I didn't know what to expect. They looked ridiculous, but they ended up being pretty good.

I've still been going to the gym every morning with my mom. She's doing a great job! Actually, last week I had to take a little break because my left knee was killing me. It was so bad I thought I had torn a ligament or something serious. But I iced it every night (11 minutes on, 11 minutes off x2) and took a 5 day break and it feels great now! And even on the days I didn't go, my mom still went. I'm so proud of her!

As far as other everyday things go, I'm getting kind of annoyed at work. For reasons I shouldn't just throw out on the internet. The only thing keeping me sane is my own insanity. Like when I saw this:

I wanted to get all Dwight Shrute on my coworker's desk. 

 And then I just start laughing at my ridiculousness and I feel good again.

***********************

In the spirit of catching up, one highlight of the last month was my birthday. Brian took me out to a very nice dinner at Gladstones in Malibu. Right on the beach during sunset. Perfection!

 I love this guy!

Also that weekend, we went camping with a group of our besties. The camping wasn't for my birthday, it just happened to be the same weekend. A weekend that was filled with carne asada, camp fires, s'mores, and bocce ball... sounds like a good time to me!

 See how close we were to the water?? For the last several years, I have had a recurring dream that a wave crashes over me. Sometimes it's been a rushing wave, like what we've seen tsunamis looking like in more recent times. Sometimes it's a tidal wave. Sometimes I'm in the water and I just float through it and sometimes I'll be driving along side of it. It's different every time. But the fact that I have had dreams like this more than once gave me pause once I realized how close our campsite was to the water.

 But we were obviously safe and it was really nice to fall asleep to the sound of waves crashing on the shore.

I took this picture of Brian and my brother because they were both wearing blue shirts, gray shorts, and hats. So cute of them to dress alike. I'm jealous. :)

 On the way home, we went to Ventura for some fish and chips in what has become a tradition to conclude our camping trips. And we had to reenact one of my favorite pictures from last year:

Be still, my heart!

The whole last month hasn't been all fun and games though- the day before my birthday, we actually had a break from all the So Cal heat and there was actually rain. Unfortunately, since it only rains like, twice a year here, any weather that isn't sunny tends to bring out the crazy in drivers. Brian got into an accident on his way to work. He was fine, but his car didn't fare as well.

 The bad news- his Ford Explorer was totaled. But some good did come out of it. We bought a new car. It's our first major purchase together, it was a great find, and although this wasn't how we wanted to go about it, we had been talking about getting a newer car.

Brian loves it and I'm happy that he's safe.

*************************** 

On a creative front, I've been doing some projects around the house. I finally finished decorating the eat-in area of the kitchen.

I went from my usual beach theme to a more world traveler theme. On one wall, I put up pictures that I had taken in Europe two years ago and on the other wall, I just put up some art and decor that I had been collecting. I also took a note from Young House Love and put up a map with pins that signify all of the places that Brian and I have traveled together.

Hard to see, I know. But they're there! And we're planning on adding more!

With the "new" kitchen, I felt inspired to try some stuff in the kitchen. I made some cake pops!

Long story short, they're delicious! Recipe coming soon!

In other creative news, I've made these:

To help keep us organize. I'll let you know if they help.

And this:

It looks better when it's not in cell phone picture form. I'm actually pretty excited about it!

FINALLY, I really want to do this but Kevin needs a costume... what should Kevin be for Howl-o-ween???